Thursday, February 9, 2012

Overcoming Depression

Overcoming depression can be a difficult thing to do. It's a whole lot easier to talk about this topic than to actually do it while you're in a state of depression. Being depressed is something that everyone will go through at some point or points in their lifetime. It's definitely a serious problem and can even lead to disastrous consequences. In this article, let's look at the root cause of depression as well as what to do to help reduce it and hopefully control it and get rid of it.

To overcome depression, you first have to know where it comes from. Although many things can cause you to feel depressed such as a loss of a loved one, not having your dreams fulfilled, an end to a relationship, and a job loss, the way you feel is caused by one core thing which is your focus. To be more specific, it is caused by the meaning you give to any given situation.

I understand that this may sound too simplistic and if you are someone who is depressed a lot, please don't feel offended. Like I said before, we've all been depressed. Thinking that you are special in some way because you experience it more than anyone you know isn't going to help your situation. What you need to realize is that there is a cause and effect when it comes to how you feel. People who are depressed aren't depressed 24/7. There are moments of depression. Something triggers that emotion. The thing that triggers it is what you focus on.

Learning how to overcome depression can be a long process depending on your situation. I can say that all you have to do is to focus on positive things but if you are surrounded by nothing but things that make you depressed, it's going to be difficult. It will also depend on your beliefs as well. If you truly believe that your life is somehow cursed with bad luck or something, it's going to be hard to shake that feeling of depression off.

There are a couple of different levels of depression. Some people who are depressed really just want connection. They want to know that someone understands the pain that they are going through. They want to feel important in some way. Then there are those who just can't stand life. They want a way to escape from it.

Depression can be a serious thing and knowing how to overcome depression may require some professional help. I am assuming though that if you had the motivation to read this far down into my rambling, and that you even searched for this topic in the first place, you at least have a desire to want to know some ways of overcoming depression. If that is the case, let's continue.

As I mentioned earlier, much of how we feel, whether it's depression or happiness, is caused by our focus. If you continually focus on how life sucks and any other thing that causes you to feel sad, you're going to feel like crap. If, however, you spend most of your time focusing on how good life is and other positive aspects of life in general, you will feel good.

So what do you do if you can't seem to find anything to feel good about? What if all you see when you look around you is stuff that will make anyone depressed? What you can do is use your imagination. Create a positive world in your mind full of things for you to be happy about. This isn't about escaping your reality though. It's really no different than visualizing your dreams and goals as if they were already real.

The point in doing this isn't to just help you feel less depressed for a moment and then feel like crap again after you are done visualizing. The point of this is to give you reasons to feel happy and to realize that it is indeed your focus and the meaning you give to events and circumstances that will determine how you feel.
Some people can go through a break up and feel depressed for months. I went through this myself. It was not a fun time. The passage of time helped a lot but what got me out of it was when I started to focus on being free to find the person I was truly meant to be with. When I was depressed, I kept focusing on my loss. I kept focusing on how I may never be happy again. This caused me to look at everything else in my life with a darker shade of color. Thinking back, my memories of that period of my life look very gray to me.
Now that I think about it, it's almost embarrassing that I even had those thoughts. I have to admit though, feeling depressed helped me connect with a lot of people who tried to help me out. That feeling that you can get connection after you just lost your biggest connection can be a trap that will cause you to want to stay depressed just to hold onto those new connections.

In this example, I was able to get out of it by focusing on the good in my situation. I don't care what you are going through, you can always find something positive to focus on and if you are still reading this then I know you are tired of feeling depressed. Overcoming depression will take mental effort. Set goals for yourself. Give yourself reasons to be feel happy. Paint a brighter future in your mind. When you are depressed, the future can look very dark and gloomy. Change that.

You can change your focus by changing the questions you are asking in your mind. Instead of asking, "Why does life suck?" ask something like, "What can I do to get out of this rut?" A really good question to ask is, "What is good about this situation?" You see, the questions you ask will determine your focus. Whether you realize it or not, you're asking yourself questions all the time. "Should I get up? What should I wear? What to eat? It's a yellow light, should I go or brake?" Most of these questions are subconscious.

Try to notice what you are asking yourself right now. Are your questions more negative or positive? Overcoming depression can be done by asking more positive questions and eliminating negative questions. Really what you are doing is changing your focus but the way you change your focus is to change the questions you are asking yourself whether it's conscious or subconscious. If it helps, write down some questions on an index card that will help you focus on what is good in your life and read it every time you feel depressed. Change your focus, change your life.

Overcoming Laziness

Laziness is a state of inaction. It's something that you do, not something that you are. Being lazy means you have no motivation to do anything. This is the obvious but the mistake that many people make is identifying themselves as someone who is lazy. In this article, I'm going to share with you something that will help you see this state of inaction in a different way. Hopefully, after you read this article, you will that anything that is not a part of who you are is just a habit.

Lazy people are often seen as useless. They are the ones who don't do anything. They can be seen as underachievers or even bums. This can be a child or an adult. You can view a student who never studies as lazy. You can see an employee who doesn't do his work has being lazy. In all of these cases, what the lazy person is doing is being lazy. But are they really being lazy or are they acting lazy?

There is a huge difference between saying you act lazy sometimes and you are a lazy person. One is suggesting that your laziness is temporary while the other suggests that it's permanent. This is the myth of laziness. People who are lazy aren't lazy; they simply are people who are temporarily acting that way.
So what causes a person to be inactive? The answer is a lack of goals and purpose. If you give someone a good enough reason to do something, they will do it. People who don't seem to do anything just haven't found a good enough reason to do anything. Lazy students don't study because they don't see the point in studying. If you give them a reason, a strong enough reason that is, they will take action.

For example, if you are too lazy to go to the gym, would you go if someone offered you a million dollars to go? If you are too lazy to clean out the garage, would someone pointing a gun to your head help you take action? The reason can be positive or negative as long as it's strong enough to induce action.
The bottom line of knowing how to overcome laziness comes down to finding enough reasons to take action. Action will lead to success while inaction will lead to failure. Before you take action though, you need a compelling reason to do so. To motivate someone who is lazy, what you need to do is help them find purpose and enough reasons to work towards a certain goal.

How to Deal With a Job You Hate

The term job dissatisfaction has been a popular topic of many water cooler discussions. How many times have you heard someone complain about their job? A better question is, how many times have you? How do you deal with a job you hate but have to keep in order to pay the bills and feed your family?
Some studies show that job dissatisfaction is one of the main causes of stress and stress is one of the main causes of illness. This article is not about how to find out if you hate your job or not. If you hate your job, you know it. So let's see what sort of options you have to deal with this without outright cutting off your only source of income.

When you have a job you hate, it's very draining both mentally and physically. But if you've had your job for some time now, you most likely have done what most people do. You've found ways to make yourself believe that the job isn't all that bad. You focus on the good things about the job in order to drown out the bad things.

Although this is a good temporary solution, overtime, it will have an adverse effect on you. You can't lie to yourself for too long. That fake smile you put on everyday will eventually turn into a frown and your attitude will suffer as well. So what is a better solution?

Figure out exactly what makes you hate your job.

Is it the actual work itself or the environment or working conditions? If you have a job you can care less about, then the obvious solution is to find a way to get into a job that means something to you. If you have a job that is in a field you like but you hate because of the working conditions (pay, co-workers, lousy boss, etc.) then you need to find a way to upgrade your conditions by going to another company or getting a promotion.

Although these solutions may seem obvious, the challenge is that because many people use rationalizations to feel better about their jobs even though deep down they hate it, they will feel comfortable where they're at. Whenever we're comfortable, we will stagnate and not do anything to change our situation.
So the way to deal with a job you hate is to really hate it. Don't deny your emotions, they're telling you something. Use that energy to create a plan and take action to move yourself towards a job, career, or company you will actually enjoy working for. When you know that there's a bright future at the end of the tunnel instead of a brick wall, although you'll still hate your job, you'll have something to look forward to each day. That will make a huge difference in your level of happiness.
You will spend the majority of your adult life working. You have one life to live and it's short. If you agree with these two statements then it should make no sense to you to be sticking with a job you hate for the rest of your life.

So the way you deal with a job you hate but can't just outright quit yet, is to create a plan of escape to eventually be able to leave the job and do something you enjoy even if it takes years to accomplish because if you don't, you'll end up hating your life. And when you hate your life, what's the point?